Animal I've Become
by agoraphobiantic
Summary: Bella was changed after Edward left her. But unlike the Cullens, Bella's embraced the animal she's become. What will happen after she's finally reunited seventy years later with Edward and the rest of the Cullens? Co-written with RaeCullen.
1. Twentythree Seconds

**Les Femmes Noires One-Shot Contest**

**Title: Twenty-three Seconds**

**Pen Name: Agoraphobiantic**

**Characters: Bella Swan**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, its characters, or any of its franchise. They all belong to Stephanie Meyer. I make nothing but fanfic.**

**To see other entries in Les Femmes Noires Contest, please visit the C2 page:**

**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Les_Femmes_Noires/73127/**

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_One one-thousand. Two one-thousand. Three one-thousand._

He was coming, walking slowly down the street with his heart steady and warm and so deliciously _wet._ Venom pooled in my mouth, my entire body coiling with anticipation. The thirst raged, a burning fist around my throat, coaxing me to jump out and attack. _Patience. _Patience was a virtue easily learned over eternity, and I'd had seventy years to practice. I had forever to perfect it. I could be patient. Very soon now. Twenty-three seconds and he would be mine.

_Four one-thousand._

He stopped and looked over his shoulder. He sensed he was being hunted. Probably he was looking out for muggers or something, the poor silly human. Like he could take precautions against a hunter like me.

_Five one-thousand._

I could step out into the street right now and he'd fall to his knees and offer himself to me willingly. I felt pity for them, when they trusted me so readily and I knew how foolish they were for it. I would think of my fuzzy human memories of _him_, how dazzling I had found him, how disarming and inhuman. And even when I knew what he was, I had loved him regardless. I was the most foolish kind of human. I hadn't fully understood the seriousness of the danger I was in back then, silly child that I was. How I let him kiss me and touch me, nuzzle my neck and 'enjoy the bouquet'. He could have killed me so fast I wouldn't have had the time to register it. If he had been feeling merciful, that is. He could have made me suffer. Yes, I was weak and helpless against him then, as this human was weak and helpless against me now.

_He _did_ make me suffer._

In the worst possible way.

_Six one-thousand. Seven one-thousand._

How hopelessly broken I had been. How shattered and fractured. It had seemed briefly that Jacob would pull me back together, not perfectly but enough that I could live again. Of course, Victoria's attack came too soon for time to tell, and truthfully, I had welcomed it. I had wanted to die, my hallucination of Edward's face flickering in constructed agony, and then the pack had arrived just in time to trap me in the limbo between life and death.

Even the pain of the change paled in comparison to the anguish of abandonment. To this day the dull ache remained. It would turn into a searing painful abyss if I let it consume me. It would be crippling in its severity. I replaced it with anger. Rage was easier as a vampire than heart-break. I understood many things now, besides the danger of the predator he had been and that I had become. Victoria's dying act of vengeance had changed me from a simpering broken human into so much more. I understood the uselessness of my undying love to the immortal that no longer wanted me, and the fragility of humans. I lived on as Charlie, then Renee, and eventually everyone I knew grew old and died. Seventy years was a long time, yet nothing at all when you had all the time in the world to watch people die. Of course, when I _really _watched people die, they died faster. Like the poor unfortunate man that would die tonight, who still had no idea, who still thought he had a tomorrow to endure. He smelled so sweet…

_Eight one-thousand. Nine one-thousand. Ten one-thousand._

Oh how I had suffered that first year. I was everything I had wanted to be back then, and I had to endure it without him. At first it had been just the agony of the change that had consumed me, but then it was worse.

Immortality.

Forever without Edward Cullen.

The realization that the rest of eternity was to be spent _alone_.

And the _thirst._ It had been so constant, so unending. I had foolishly thought that if I stayed away from humans I would be able to resist, to make the Cullens – to make _him _– proud. I told myself I would stick to the animal diet. I was so naive back then, still carrying the foolishness that had let me believe he had ever loved me, even for a short time. There was nowhere left where there weren't humans, of course, not really. I slipped once, then twice, then too many times to count. After the intoxicating euphoria of the hunt was done, I was left facing the bitter truth.

I was a murderer.

I killed people with families and lives, and I killed them to feed. Just one more bitter truth to add to the long list that had preceded it.

I was unloved. I was dead. And on top of all that, I was a murderer. It had been torturous that first year. I had struggled so hard against what I was. God, I was such a naïve fool. I smiled to myself, my teeth gleaming in the dark. I was much smarter now. Now I embraced the horror I'd become.

_Eleven one-thousand. Twelve one-thousand._

And then there had been the wolves. Of course, after the umpteenth hiker was found drained of his blood, they finally realized I couldn't be ignored for the sake of friendship anymore. I was a vampire they once called a friend, but I was a vampire nonetheless. I had smelled the fear and reluctance on them as they hunted me, foolishly thinking they could defeat me, capture me and end me. I had wanted it, in some part, to truly die and be at peace, but my survival instincts were strong. I killed two of them, and hurt so many more before they finally retreated. They couldn't touch me. I was a newborn, and my rage made me stronger.

_Thirteen one-thousand._

Of course after I killed Sam, Jacob had to be the Alpha. Poor, sweet Jacob. He had been foolish enough to love me. He might have been my life if I'd had a life. I knew he was the reason they didn't kill me when they realized it was too late to save my humanity. I knew it was because he loved me still. Poor, sweet, _naïve _Jacob. Didn't he know from watching me that loving a vampire could only hurt him in the end? He knew his love for me had caused the death of Sam and Seth. He knew if he hadn't saved me, I wouldn't have killed them a few months later. His dead brothers haunted him until the day he died. I know because I watched him, quietly and from a distance. How he suffered. How he disappeared from their sights to mourn all his loss alone. He lost the girl he loved, and he lost his pack brothers, and he carried the blame on his shoulders. Killing him had been an act of mercy; my last act of kindness. Now I existed for me_._

_Fourteen one-thousand. Fifteen one-thousand. Sixteen one-thousand._

The guilt went away. The humanity was shed. It got easier in time to see that I wasn't really meant to be anything but the monster I was. Edward had fought so hard against it, trying to play human. And then he had destroyed me, and now I saw that he was only being the monster he had to be.

_"I'm _tired _of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human."_

I saw humans through his eyes now, pathetic and weak and so irritatingly fragile. They were glorified animals. I could only imagine loving them as pets, a child's fascination with a goldfish from the fair, which was destined to end up being flushed down the toilet within a month. Of course he didn't love me. Of course he didn't want me. How could he have loved or wanted what I had been?

_Seventeen one-thousand._

But then again, he wouldn't love what I was now. Because I saw it now, felt it so clearly. Vampires didn't love. They coveted, and they took to fulfill their desires and needs. Our kind was not capable of love. Our kind was engineered to kill. We inflict pain. We cause panic and fear. We bring death. It was what we were made to be.

_Eighteen one-thousand._

Edward Cullen killed me, like he was made to.

_Nineteen one-thousand_.

When he left me in that forest I died, as surely as I would have if he'd snapped my neck and sucked me dry. He lied to me about everything, and he destroyed my world. He murdered me and broke all his promises. He drained me of life. He left me alone. He took my soul with him and disappeared into the ether. Since the change there had been three instances when I heard of the Cullens being somewhere close. All three instances I raced to the opposite end of the country. I knew he was still out there, still roaming the world, dazzling high school girls and playing haunting lullabies on his piano.

_Twenty one-thousand._

I hated him. _I hate Edward Cullen._

_Twenty-one one-thousand._

_I love him._

_Twenty-two one-thousand._

Like a breath of air across the night, I moved, silent and deadly. With a brutal efficiency I cut that last thought from my mind, slaughtered it in its tracks because it was dangerous, and I had no more room left in my life for danger. My focus became that stuttering, beating heart. So vulnerable. So fragile. _Mine._

_Twenty-three one-thousand._

I sunk my teeth into his neck, and the skin broke like wet paper against my teeth. My mouth flooded with his blood, his pounding heart pumping it furiously down my throat as he gurgled out his dying scream. The slick heat slid down my throat, coating it and sending power through my dead veins. I moaned, caught up in the pleasure of it, his life quenching my thirst as I drank, greedily swallowing generous mouthfuls of the dark red blood. His bones snapped in my grip, dry twigs in my steel embrace. His hands clawed futilely at my back, gripping the material of my dress and finding only unyielding stone. I had loved unyielding stone once, embracing it and kissing it and offering myself to it in all the ways only a young girl could. My grand gestures of romance had been as futile as this dying man's struggles now. He had died the moment I spied him leaving his office so late. And I had died the moment I loved Edward Cullen.

"_You're not good for me, Bella."_

I groaned, crushing him more tightly to my chest and hearing only faintly the cracking of his ribs and his spine as his struggles became heavy and slow. He whimpered, a broken sound of defeat as he realized it was over, he would never go home, he would never again see the light of day. His heart weakened, but I clung to him intent on draining him to the very last drop. _Give me your soul to replace the one I lost - the one I gave away. _He would be mine. _He would be mine._

_Edward…_

_"Goodbye, Bella."_

And just like that, it ended. He sagged. The blood flow stopped, the night resuming its eerie silence. I released his neck from my mouth, and he dropped with a dead weight to the cold sidewalk, empty and broken and irreparable. _Dead_. I was rejuvenated. I was reborn. His glassy dead eyes stared up at the night sky, his face forever frozen in fear and despair. I had looked like that once. I had felt like that once. And yet, after everything, I should have been too strong to ever be that way again. My stone heart should have been immune to the world. My human love should have disappeared into the mist of fuzzy memories. _A sieve..._

_Why did you leave me?_

Collapsing to my knees, I was overcome with it like I always was. The horror. The pain. The ache of the fissure ripped open across my chest, my invincible body quaking with the agony of it. So much more potent now than when I was human, it tore me apart. I moaned, trying to fight it, but finally gave in to the heaving tearless sobs that conquered my being, clutching at the parts of the man I had killed, mourning him in a way that no one had mourned me. I held his face, carefully so as not to break him any more than I already had, and kissed his still, soft lips, still so warm to me.

He stared at the sky.

His eyes were green.

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**First things first.**

**RaeCullen betaed the shit out of this, so really, it wouldn't have been what it is now if it weren't for her. She's like a cheerleader on 'roids. The girl's support is un-fucking-wavering, and so this is kinda dedicated to her.**

**Secondly, I am thrilled to announce that the two of us have decided to collaborate on a continuation of this once the contest ends! It's undergoing rigorous discussion at this very moment, amidst squees and other forms of excitement, so please put us on alert if you'd like to read that.**

**As always thanks for reading, and leave some love (or hate, if that's your cup of tea).**


	2. Animal

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****Rae****: Here is where the continuance starts! Hold on folks, we're taking you for a ride. Remember I'm doing EPOV and my partner in crime is doing BPOV. Thank you to LittleClareStar for her beta magic and Silver Sniper of Night for her letting us use her eyes for a pre-read.**

**Agora****: I've been wanting to post this for a LONG TIME. Everyone that reviewed and voted for this during the contest rocks – uber thanks ^^ This wouldn't be here if it weren't for the people Rae mentioned, and more importantly, Rae herself. I hope you'll love it as much as I do.**

**Disclaimer****: still owns all that is Twilight. We're just making Bella less of a doormat, and a bit (ok A LOT) more evil. :) **

**Chapter 2 **

**BPOV**

Boredom came often. It weighed heavily on me, bearing down from all sides, leaving me stiff with it. My stone muscles and steel bones were restless, even as I willed them still. I hadn't moved in almost a week, remaining still and searching through only sound and scent, for my next destination. It would have to be somewhere crowded. Somewhere I could blend. Somewhere I would have choices.

_His eyes were green._

Sitting up abruptly, in a movement so fast it almost wasn't, I made the decision. I would go _north. _Because north smelled good today.

I dusted off my dress, making a mental note to pilfer a new one. I didn't need it of course, even in a paper bag they would come to me like moths to a flame, but still. Presentation was key. I stepped around the grave markers, smiling to myself at the irony. It was a little silly and dramatic to choose a cemetery to 'rest' but I couldn't resist the private joke. The hour was late, and the darkness deep for human eyes – a perfect time to run.

Thanks to all the things that had changed when I was turned, this was my favorite part. The run. The _speed._ I felt great, unstoppable, capable of anything when I could run so fast. The wind whipped past me, the world vibrant colorful details that would have been a blur had I retained my human eyes.

But I hadn't. My eyes, like my fragile skin and laughable naivety, were all gone, replaced by something better and stronger, harder and sharper and a thousand times more durable. Because I had eternity. And I had to endure it.

_Alone._

Somehow, I found the reserves in me to push harder, and I flew faster. _No one could catch me_. I raced over distances that would have taken triple the time by car, even driving at above the speed limit. I was nearing my goal, and I would be there before sunrise for certain at the speed I was traveling. Even if there were humans out, and there weren't any for miles, they wouldn't see me at all, but merely retain the impression that they had missed something, and only the especially perceptive ones at that.

The scent of warmth and understated sweetness that had drawn me north grew stronger, and I slowed my approach, veering right and cutting away to circle around the suburbs surrounding the city. I crossed through the outermost houses, continuing along my sensory path until something _special_ led me a little further north. I approached, no longer in the outskirts but not quite in the city proper. The sky was beginning to seep color, the inky black becoming a washed out navy tinged with purple. I didn't have much time, there would be activity in the streets soon.

Finally, I stopped near a cluster of old buildings, recognizing by scent alone that I was at some sort of university housing. Here the concentration of the sweet-smelling blood was strong, young, virginal drunks inside sleeping away the social toils of the day before practically oozing purity and vulnerability. But my tastes were specific; I only chose males.

Brushing my dress down over my hips, I sauntered casually up to the building. There was a night man slumped over in his chair, his heartbeats pumping steady, like that of a sleeping man. I entered silently, and he stirred but didn't give any indication of waking up. There was a bulletin board near the mailboxes, and I fingered a pale blue flyer. Keg party tonight. So typical.

I would go to the party. There, I would find him.

_His eyes were green._

He would be perfect.

I walked silently up the first flight of stairs, pausing outside a door that held behind it a sleeping girl, young, not as intoxicated as the rest, her blood less diluted. She was sleeping deeply and muttering incoherently. I could hear her from outside. I smiled. So _human…_

Cracking the door open I inspected her living space. There were flowers, _real_ flowers sitting on her nightstand. And a card. I read it from across the room, rolling my eyes at the unoriginal declarations of love scrawled by a nervous hand. Sitting on the desk there was a picture of the girl herself with her arms wrapped around a young man. I picked it up, frowning. His eyes were hazel. That would have been too convenient, wouldn't it?

Bored already, I put the picture back on the desk, walking to the small closet and flinging it open. The door squeaked, and I suppressed a snarl of annoyance. Didn't these humans know how to maintain the upkeep of _anything_? Cursing them inwardly, I waited for any telltale signs that the girl might have heard anything, but her muttering, which had increased momentarily, was back to its dull, low volume. Relieved – I hated killing females – I turned back to the closet, fingering the materials of some of the dresses hanging inside. There wasn't much, and her size was slightly smaller. No matter. I picked up a boring beige shirt and some decent jeans, leaving the closet door open and sauntering to the bathroom. A girl needed a mirror.

Dropping my dress in the bathtub, I picked up a hand towel and held it under the tap, using the moist cloth to brush away the more apparent pieces of earth and dirt that had found their way onto my skin. When I was presentable to my own eyes, I picked up the jeans, noting they were at least skin tight and flattering, then threw on the shirt, only bothering with two buttons. Let the boys have something to look at.

Satisfied, I flipped my hair over my shoulders, inspecting my reflection. It wasn't the greatest ensemble I'd ever stolen, but was certainly one of the fastest. She'd be waking up soon. The thought annoyed me, and I gathered my discarded dress and dirtied towel, leaving the room as silently as I'd entered and making my way outside to dispose of the mess in the dumpster between buildings. I slipped on the sunglasses I'd picked from her dresser on my way out to hide my red eyes. People were beginning to rise, a few sleepy forms moving around with the scent of exhaustion thick around all of them. I stuck to the shadows, making my way closer to the inner city where I was more likely to go unnoticed. Of course, I never went completely unnoticed, not with the way I looked or with my _other_ gift, but there were ways to minimize unwanted attention, just like there were ways to maximize attention when I _did_ want it.

One of the humans dragging his feet away from the building did a double take, staring at me with his mouth hanging open. I smirked a little, feeling his gaze on me. Amazingly the novelty never wore off. Maybe as a human girl I was just mousy little Bella, but now, not even Rosalie Cullen would have been able to command the attention of a man in my presence. Not with my gift.

I slipped into the shadow of the entrance to the public library just as the sun broke through the cloud cover. The elderly librarian unlocked the door for me, smiling politely but curiously. I smiled back, showing my teeth. Her smile faltered, and she shuddered and held her cardigan closed. Smirking, I passed her and went to the back, finding what I was looking for easily enough. I ran my finger over the spine of the book, sliding it gently out of place, staring fondly at the cover. _Nietzsche._ A mind so brilliant, he might not have been human at all. Amused by the thought, I flipped through the book's pages, letting it fall open naturally to a well-worn page.

_This prodigious event is still on its way, still wandering; it has not yet reached the ears of men. Lightning and thunder require time, the light of the stars requires time, deeds, though done, still require time to be seen and heard._

I smiled involuntarily, flipping back to the beginning to read. Lost in the magic of the words, I barely noticed when people came and went, when the sunlight outside turned to unnatural light, and when people shuffled away because I stood so unnaturally still for so long. Once the book was done, I shelved it with a regretful sigh, looking at the large wall clock mounted over the front desk. It was time.

Stepping outside I hailed a taxi, realizing that it was faster than walking at human pace – which I would have to do with so many of them out and about now. The taxi driver took my directions despite his hammering heart, and I sensed his discomfort and attraction war within him. When he pulled up to the address, I brushed my fingers against his shoulder, and he smiled at me with love struck eyes and told me no charge was necessary.

_Too easy._

At long last, I was there. A college party. A hunter's _dream_ of a playground. There was so much life, so much _blood_ everywhere, the venom pooling in my mouth before I even entered the crowded little bar. More than a few heads turned to see who came in, and most of those didn't turn away. They stared, and I held my breath as I scanned them for a face that would do.

_Someone just right._

I moved slowly, gracefully through them, stepping around anyone I didn't want touching me even when it seemed it was inevitable. Every one of them wanted to be chosen, the ignorant fools. But I was choosy. I had specifications.

And then I found him.

He sat by the bar, enchanted as the rest of them, watching me with his mouth slightly agape. I smiled at him, not showing too much teeth, and walked confidently to his side, leaning forward and breathing against his face. His eyes glazed over, a delicious blush warming his cheeks. _Perfect._

"Hello," I purred, and he grinned at me with joy and disbelief in his eyes.

His eyes were green.

**EPOV**

I sat stoically, unable to move thanks to the vision that presented itself so quickly in front of me. So suddenly it had appeared, knocking me off my feet before I could right myself and sit down on the cool ground. Blinking quickly, I honed in on the thoughts of the human, focusing on the sudden image of a beautiful brunette.

The face. The same face that had haunted me for over seventy years.

_No, it couldn't be. It's not possible. _

I allowed myself to peer further into the mind of the human. Ordinarily, I didn't allow myself the opportunity to do so. The thoughts of humans were typically predictable and mind numbingly dull. Only occasionally would I slip and peruse the thoughts of the humans around me, when the boredom just simply couldn't be bared any longer.

The brunette was stunning, and not only had the attention of this particular young man, but also every other man in the room. She moved with a fluid grace that was almost startling.

Her hair flowed in soft waves down her back and a pair of sunglasses was perched on her perfect heart shaped face.

Instantly, I knew that this woman was not human. The grace of her movements, the way every human in the room eyed her with both fear and awe. Everyone in the room wanted to either be her, or be with her. Such a typical reaction humans had to vampires. Instinctually, they knew there was something to be feared, but they were also captivated.

She stopped in front of the human boy, flashing him a sexy and devious smile. The human's mind was running wild with perverse thoughts. I had to roll my eyes at the predictability of the thoughts of humans. _So typical. _

"Hello," she purred at him.

The human's heart rate accelerated, from the obvious intentions of this inhumanly gorgeous woman that was paying attention to him.

_Holy shit, this woman is fucking smokin'! Hell fucking yes, I'm taking her home tonight! _

Again, I rolled my eyes at the thoughts of the human. Humans were only driven by one thing. _Sex_.

Mostly, the words that were spoken between this woman and the human boy were ignored. The words were not important. Through the eyes of the human, I watched as they talked, laughed and flirted unabashedly.

Briefly, I attempted to hear the thoughts of the woman, but was unable to come up with anything.

Silence.

_No, no, no, no. _

I watched in tortured fascination as she took his hand and lead him out of the bar and towards the dark alley behind the bar.

The boy's heart began beating erratically, most likely from the thrill and also the instinct of self-preservation. He had begun to realize that there was something not quite right about this woman, but hadn't been able to bring himself to care. She appeared to have some sort of seductive control over him. Although, this wasn't really out of the ordinary for vampires.

Roughly, she pushed him up against the brick wall. Fear flashed through his mind, then pleasure.

_Fuck yeah, this bitch likes it rough, _he thought.

I flinched reflexively at the word 'bitch'. I wasn't one hundred percent sure that this was her, the one that I had spent the last seventy years of my existence searching for, but the similarities were so uncanny..

_No! _I thought, pushing the idea away almost as quickly as it came to my brain. _It's not her. It couldn't be.. _

He flinched as her hands touched the skin of his neck, her smile turning more dangerous looking. _Fuck, her hands are freezing. That's not hot._ I was both annoyed and thrilled to hear _something_ break through the lust-haze of the human. Her fingers stroked his jugular, and his heart rate picked up, accelerated until he was panting. She inhaled deeply, running her nose up his neck and he laughed, slightly uncomfortable with this unfamiliar foreplay.

"What ya doing?" he asked hesitantly, trying to pass it off as a joke, but disturbed to a degree when she placed one cold hand over his heart.

She pulled back slowly and I tried again, furiously, to hear her thoughts. She lifted the sunglasses to the top of her head where they sat in her hair. The light of the alley was too dark, and the human's eyes were too fuzzy for me to be able to tell for sure, but they glowed a little red. I shuddered inwardly even as the human did the same. "I'm sampling the bouquet," she responded, and my entire bring ruptured.

_It was her!_

Like a sick fantasy, I saw in my mind the image of Bella, sitting on her bed that day after the meadow as I jokingly spoke those same words to her. There was no mistake. A thousand questions tore through my mind, festering and vying for my immediate attention, and I clutched my head in a rare instance of complete mental defeat. My head was hammering with _why, why, why _when something far more immediate and terrifying ripped through the human boy's mind.

He hadn't had time to realize what she was doing, but I knew the sensation he was experiencing, knew it from when I had hunted my own victims. She gripped his upper arm, yanking him closer to her, and something snapped with a sickening crack that had the boy gurgling for breath through his useless throat. She half-hummed half-groaned against his skin, a sound that chilled his heart. _What is this? What's happening?_

I wasn't sure if the thoughts were mine or his.

She gripped him tighter, wrapping her arms around his torso. He heard more cracks, and his vision swam. He whimpered, and a blurry image of an elderly woman floated through his mind. _Nan. Who's going to take care of Nan? I'm going to die._

She squeezed one more time.

Pain raked through my body.

And then, his thoughts went black.

**Rae****: Well what are your thoughts? Don't worry, they'll be reunited soon and *hint hint* It's not gonna be all rainbows and butterflies. ;) Leave us some love (or hate if that's your flava). **


	3. Tracker

**Rae: We're back! I hope people are actually still with us. We're super stoked to be writing this together again! We should be having fairly regular updates from here on out. Thank you to Clare for being our fab beta. **

**Agora: As always, thanks go out to my darlin wife and the awesomeness that is littleclarestar. Some things just aren't possible without certain people, you know? 3**

**Disclaimer: We don't own twilight or any of it's characters. We just enjoy making Bella slightly more evil and vengeful.**

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**Chapter 3 - Tracker **

**EPOV **

Falling to my knees, I clutched at my head. The onslaught of images that filled my brain terrifyed me beyond belief.

_Why, why, why, why? _

That wasn't _my_ Bella. It couldn't have been. It couldn't have been the gentle soul that I have loved and longed for obsessively over the last seventy years.

A million images flashed through my mind at lightening speed. Pictures of Bella as a human - watching her while she slept, running with her on my back, in the meadow, her writhing in pain from James' attack and her lying on the forest floor holding herself together as she sobbed. The last image was so clear in my head, as if it just happened minutes ago. It was an image that played itself over and over _and over_ again. It took all of the self-control I had that day to not run back to her, pick her up and hold her.

She had believed me so easily, believed that I didn't love her, believed that it had been so easy for me to just leave her. It was the hardest thing I had ever done in my one hundred and seventy years on the planet. To this day, it was _still_ the hardest thing that I had ever done. My dead heart clenched, ached and died again as I looked at the pain in her eyes that day. How could she have believed me so easily? So many times I had told her I had loved her, that she was my life, and yet none of that mattered when I had uttered those four words, those four words that equated one horrendous lie.

_"I don't want you." _

_"You..don't..want me?" _

_"No." _

_"You're no good for me, Bella." _

My body shuddered violently as the memory consumed me. So wrong I had been. In all actuality, it was I that had been no good for her.

After I left Bella, I hated myself. That hate still burned strongly after all of these years. I told myself over and over again that it was for the best, that she would live a much more fulfilling life without me. It was that simple thought that kept me away. Whenever I felt my control slipping, I conjured up mental images of Bella happy and smiling.

I placed myself in exile, roaming the earth just barely existing. I separated myself from my family. I didn't deserve the company of others. I told them not to try to find me. Mostly, that had been directed at Alice. I demanded that she not look out for my future, and definitely not look at Bella's, but I knew it was a useless request. She would always look out for it. I begged her to just not interfere, no matter what she saw. I _made _her promise. She made me her promise and as far as I was aware, she had kept it. The times I reunited with my family over the last seventy-years were few and far between. It pained me to see the sadness in Esme and Alice's eyes. The pity.

I lived in a dream world, conjuring up images of Bella's future. She was married, had a fulfilling job as a literature teacher. I pictured her with a round stomach, her skin radiant with the happiness of an expectant mother. I pictured her growing old with a human man, in love, holding each other's hands at night while they rocked on a porch swing watching their grandchildren run around in the yard. Those vivid images made the gaping hole in my chest, where my unbeating heart lay, ache and clench. But I had been willing to sacrifice my own happiness for hers. I loved her that much. I told myself it was worth it. She now had the life she'd always wanted.

I contemplated going to the Volturi, to explain to them that I wished to be dead and ask them to grant me that wish. But I could never bring myself to do it. I had made a promise to Bella so many years ago that I would never sacrifice my own life.

_"You must never, never, never think of anything like that again! No matter what might happen to me, you are not allowed to hurt yourself." _

The emotion she showed was so strong and unyielding that I made a silent vow to her that I would never do anything drastic that would sacrifice my own life. It was moot anyway, Alice would see when I made the decision and come to stop me.

Now, I sit here, clutching my head as I watch images of Bella, as a _vampire_, flash through my mind like the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The way she seduced the human boy into coming with her, then brutally _killing_ and _sucking_ the life right out of him like some kind of _monster_. A shudder rippled through my body, causing me to convulse and my stomach turn. If I were still human, I would have vomited all over the floor in front of me. I had never felt so physically ill.

_No, no, no, no. It wasn't _my_ Bella. _My_ Bella was gentle, kind and caring. _

I could try to fool myself all I wanted, but it wasn't going to work. I knew it had been her. She still held so many of her human features. She had always been breathtakingly beautiful to me, but now.. now she was.. exquisite.

A war of conflicting emotions waged inside of me: shame, happiness, guilt, frustration, confusion, loneliness, elation, love, and anger. I was confused about how she had come to be this way. Her eyes had been blood red and she showed an unbelievable amount of control; she knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it. She had not appeared to be consumed by her blood lust, an obvious sign that she had been living this life for quite sometime. I held questions in my head regarding how long she had been this way and who had done this to her? I was conflicted. One part of me was so happy and relieved to just see _her_. While the other part was enraged by what she had become - not just that she had become a vampire, but the kind of vampire she had so obviously become. She was an animal. I felt a sense of anger at both myself and whoever did this to her.

_You did this to her_.

Had I never left her, I would have prevented this from happening. She wouldn't have had to go through the pain and suffering, both from my leaving and her transformation into a vampire.

Now I realized leaving her had been nothing but a waste. She had become the very thing I had tried to prevent. The last seventy years spent suffering, in exile, the abandonment of my home and my family and my life with her, all for nothing. Like a wicked movie reel my mind played out the decades I could have had with her, the days we could have spent in the meadow, in her room, in my home, the songs I could have played for her and the stories we could have shared, the nights I could have spent watching her dream. Alice had been right all along. It had been Bella's fate to become one of us, and no matter how hard I tried, nothing I did could have ever changed that. I was a fool for betting against Alice. A complete fucking idiot.

A mangled cry ripped from my throat as frustration, anger and guilt fully consumed me. Still kneeling on the ground, I dug my fingers into the dirt, tearing through the soil like it was soft dough. I had come into this thick forest in an attempt to hunt for the first time in... it had been.. weeks..? I wasn't entirely sure how long it had been since I last hunted. Time was always irrelevant to vampires, but it was even more unneccesary for me to keep track of time now. I had nothing even worth existing for, and there had been no point in keeping track of time. Hunting was nothing more then a necessity now, a means of survival in the barest sense of the word. I no longer got the joy out of it I once did, hunting alongside my brothers and sisters, my family. Nothing provided me with joy any longer. I only hunted when I could no longer handle the intense burning in my throat.

As soon as the image of Bella flashed in my mind through the thoughts of the human boy, I was incapcitated and unable to move. With a sickening fascination I watched as she _mutilated_ the human boy. There was no hesitation in her eyes, no remorse, no flash of consciousness to give away even the tiniest gleaming of humanity. She had stalked him. She had lured him away from the herd. She had taken him down. He had been nothing more than a hunted animal.

I was no longer in the mood to take down a deer.

As if the decision triggered the unwelcome train of thought, I found myself asking the inevitable question: What was I going to do now? Find her? Talk to her? Would she even want to see me? That was doubtful. Why would she ever want to see me again? I had left her and told her I no longer loved her. I would hate me if I were her. I _did_ hate myself... There was another option. I could run. I could run as fast as I could in the opposite direction and pretend I had never seen her. Even as I thought it, I knew I couldn't do it.

Now that I had seen her again, there was no way I could let her go without a fight. I knew it was selfish, but I couldn't live without her any longer. I'd barely survived for the last seven decades, barely any time in the life of a vampire and yet an unbearable eternity in my mind. There was no way I could spend the rest of my miserable existence without her; especially now that I knew she was still alive. And was just like me. Destined to walk the earth for the rest of eternity.

No, I couldn't just walk away. Even if I wanted to, it would be impossible. I had to at least see her, _touch her_, feel her close again. At least once. Regardless of the fact that I knew she would not want to see me, I would not give up on this chance. The sheer improbability of the fact floored me, overwhelmed me with its mathematical unlikeliness. That the one time in, who knew how long, I would allow my mind to wander to the minds of others, I would see her. I could not squander this one shot I had to see her one last time. Perhaps she would take pity on me and allow it. Part of her had to still feel for me, right? No, who was I kidding? How could she still feel any sort of passion for me like I still felt for her? I had destroyed her. I was a monster.

Torn by the choices laid before me, I uncurled myself and laid my body flat against the ground, as still as a statue, obviously not needing to move. My mind processed the myriad of ways this could turn out. Because I insisted on imagining all the potential scenarios I allowed myself the small fleeting hope that maybe, just maybe...

I lay there for what felt like days, but what couldn't have been more than a few minutes. I was suddenly overcome by the realization that my decision had to be made, and soon. There was a deadline to my opening, a small window of possibility during which I had to do something. I had already realized I could no longer sit here and contemplate what I was going to do. I needed to act.

In a flash, I was up off the ground and heading out of the brush, towards the city. I brushed the dirt off my clothes, not wanting to draw too much attention to myself and yet wary of the kind of attention I no doubt drew with my appearance. The sun was beginning to set, darkness already enveloping the city. It was doubtful people would even take notice of me, as I tended to stay hidden, lurking in the shadows. It was a complete and utter cliche, but it was for the best. Lurking in the darkness had become my way of life. I wasn't sure I even knew how to blend in with society any longer. I couldn't recall the last time I had even been in a city.

Unsure of where to even begin, I roamed the city, amazed by the life it still held even at this late hour. I had no idea where she would go or what she would be doing. Would she stay here in the city and - the thought made me wince - continue to hunt? Or would she have fled the moment she drained the boy? I obviously had no idea about her habits and had been too engrossed in the thoughts of the human to even take notice of any small details of where exactly they were.

A growl of frustration ripped from my lips as I leaned with my back against the brick wall of an abandoned building, reaching out with my mind to the general vicinity I remembered last seeing her. It had been a crowded party, surely there were others that would remember seeing her. With her undeniable beauty and allure, no doubt they would still be thinking of her. I sought her out in their minds, any lingering thought of her...

_What am I doing here? God, this is so stupid..._

__

I can't believe she showed her face here after last week, the nerve of that little...

Oh man oh man I need to get laid tonight, I can't believe it's been...

I can't stand that jackass, man he's so...

Oh my God he's here, he's here! Oh what do I say? What do I...

What did she see in him anyway? That scrawny little grandma's boy had nothing on me. I'd have shown her a great fucking time if she'd had her damn head on straight. What's he got that I haven't, anyway? If she'd left with me I'd have...

I straightened. This was it, I could see his ineffectual human memories of her, his silent fuming that he had been passed over for the unfortunate grandma's boy that had met his end at the hands of the goddess he longed for. I took in his surroundings, blocking his mental ramblings for the most part in favor of passing from one mind to another until I got a fix on the location, flitting from shadow to shadow towards the university until I was standing outside the very bar it had happened in. I inhaled, a thick unfamiliar vampire scent that I'd never come across before filling my dead lungs. It must have been her. It had to be!

I followed it through the bar, ignoring the stray thoughts of the women - and none too few men - that perked at the sight of me. A few registered fear, noting my dirty clothes and my rumpled appearance, shying away from my very obvious otherness, my subhuman wildness. I ignored them all, passing through the bodies and out the back door and into the alley where the scent of blood was still thick and heady. The boy's corpse was arranged carefully behind the dumpster, his glassy green eyes still open, staring up into the sky. I shuddered, averting my eyes, unwilling to accept what was now before me in the flesh. I had seen Bella the vampire through the eyes of a stranger. I couldn't face it now through my own eyes, in my own mind. I couldn't process the actuality of what she'd done. I refused to internalize it before I had a chance to see Bella herself, to speak with her.

I followed the scent as it made its way away from the buildings, weaving through alleys, thicker in dark corners where she might have waited or lingered. My heart was silent, my feet leaving no trace, but my mind thundered with the memories of my Bella. I saw her again and again as I had last seen her, weak, fragile, heartbroken on the forest floor where I left her. To see her again! I trembled with anticipation and no small amount of anxiety. My entire being was focused on finding her now. I had always been such an awful tracker, but her scent was still fresh, heavy with the recent hunt and her victim's blood flowing through her veins. I stumbled after it to the outskirts of the city, to a condemned building where I could hear, almost indistinguishable over the sounds of civilization close by, the sound of ragged breathing. I could barely discern it from my own as I panted, gasping for air that I did not need, stepping carefully over toppled concrete and piled brick to where I saw in the shadows a hunched form curled around itself. Her face was hidden but the cascading brown hair, tinged with red even in the garish city lights, gave her away. She must have been lost in her own thoughts not to have noticed my approach. I wondered if I could speak to her now that I was here, mere feet away from her.

I sucked in a lungful of filthy air and vampire sweetness. _Don't be a coward again..._

"Bella?"

When the tiny head snapped up to confront me, all I saw were blood red eyes in the face of my beloved. A pitiful moan escaped my lips, and had I been anything but the monster I was I would have shed tears of indescribable emotion. It was her face. It was my Bella. It was my heart and soul and I had no words now that I looked upon her at last.

I hungrily took in the sight of her, her face, her hair, her long limbs as she unfolded herself slowly from her crouch to her full length, her pale skin now powdery white with death. Every detail, from the dust in her hair to the dirt beneath her fingernails, I filed away forever, cherishing this single vision as I had never cherished anything else ever before. I watched her, breathing in greedy lungfuls of her scent, her new scent, so different and unfamiliar and yet still the most beautiful scent in the world to me. I waited for her to say something, to speak, to sob or run away or throw herself into my arms or anything. The moments passed like hours. The hours felt like years. I waited. I stared.

_Bella. My Bella...  
_  
**APOV**

I gasped, dropping the vase near the window, sucking in desperate breaths to ease the shock of what flashed before my mind's eye.

"Alice?" Jasper was next to me in an instant, his hands strong and supportive on my shoulders, sending waves upon waves of calming reassurance. I blinked away the fogginess of the vision, clutching the hollow space where my heart once beat.

"We have to go," I whispered, "we have to go right away!" Jasper's hands clenched on my shoulders.

"Carlisle? Emmet?" He swallowed. "Edward?"

"Bella."

That was all I needed to say.


	4. Frenzy

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. We're just giving Bella a bit more spunk. There's no way she'd be capable of making Bella quite this aggressive.**

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**Chapter 4 - Frenzy**

**BPOV**

For the first time since I had become a vampire, I was struck mute and motionless. My mind worked frantically but nothing made sense, no real clarity or thought cut through my mental whirlwind. I stood utterly motionless before him, incapable of doing anything else.

I had honestly never imagined what I would do if I ever saw him again. I never pictured it as a potential scenario, always pushing his existence to some remote corner of the universe, a civilized place where humans and vampires coexisted and nobody got eaten. The way the nomadic vampires seemed so distant and unlikely when I was living with the Cullens; it was the Cullens that had seemed distant and unlikely since I had embraced my change.

But now I wasn't just faced with the very reality of their existence, I was faced with _him_, the one who I could trace all of myself back to. At first his incredible beauty disarmed me. Through my human eyes he had been a vision, but with my perfect vampire eyes, I saw all the perfections I had been unable to pinpoint before. Like a magical eighth color of a rainbow, he stood newly revealed to me, jumbling up all the pictures I carried of him from my human memories.

And yet he was not perfect. I saw a bump in the bridge of his nose I had never seen, and an unevenness in his jaw that had been imperceptible to my weak human eyes. What was more, I had never seen him so... unkempt. His clothes were old, of a cut and style that hadn't been around for some time. His jeans were worn, gaping holes in the knees and seams coming undone. his shirt was beyond dirty, its original color impossible to guess. It hung in worn muddy brown rags around his shoulders. The purple shadows beneath his eyes were pronounced, deep and startling and almost frightening. Any human that saw him now would not find him beautiful. They would find him terrifying.

But once the novelty of seeing him with these eyes – eyes I shouldn't have had at all, eyes he wouldn't give me – wore off I felt it curling and unfurling inside me. _Rage_. I had killed before, under orders and to keep the peace, during interrogation or battles for territory. But now, I wanted to kill for rage. I wanted to rip his stone limbs apart with my superior strength and show him now and forever that I was not the fragile breakable Bella he had once known, and I never would be again.

Because underneath the rage of betrayal was the rage of indignation. Indignation at him for the way he had treated me. As though I had been below him and unworthy because I had just been a fragile little human. He had never seen me as an equal and I knew it to be why he left. He never did love me. It never made sense for him to love me. I had been fragile, weak, and pathetic. Now the tables were turned and he was the one that was fragile, weak and pathetic. The fact that I was stronger and entirely more powerful than him did not escape me. I relished in the sensation

of this power, how all consuming it was, how incredible. I was finally equal to him.

No, not equal. _Better_ than him. _At last._

With the sweetness of that thought melting on my tongue I let out a battle cry and launched myself at him, ready to prove to him just how powerful I was. I barely had time to register the shock on his face before he flew backwards through a barely-standing structure. The sound of a collapsing mountain shook the floor beneath my feet, and I knew humans would be here to investigate, and soon. I had to make this quick. Kill him quick.

I leaped through the rubble, finding him as he moved quickly to his feet and turned towards me. His eyes were wild with panic and confusion and no small measure of fear. My senses blazed with the hunt, and I snarled delightedly as I caught him and threw us to the concrete floor. It cracked beneath us and I gripped his hair as I sank my teeth into his neck. _Rip off his head. Kill him quick._

He roared with sudden outrage and bucked underneath me, and I sailed into a nearby wall. The impact knocked the wind out of me, giving him just enough time to capture my wrists and pin me down. "Bella, you have to calm down!"

"Like Hell I do!" I snapped at him, reaching out for a bite. Just one bite, and this could be over.

He hissed, pushing me back again and I twisted violently underneath him, throwing him off long enough to plant my foot in the center of his chest and push him backwards. He grunted, skidding to a shaky halt and resuming a fighting crouch, his body tense like a tiger's coiled to strike. I smirked and mimicked his stance, clicking my tongue. "Golden-eyed Edward. What do you know about fighting?"

His face showed dismay, then determination. "I'm not going to fight you, Bella."

I snarled and shifted my feet, flying towards him as he stood there, upright and human – like I remembered him. We collided like lightning, and he lay passive beneath me with his thighs trapped beneath my knees. I wrapped my hands around his throat, crying out in angry triumph and frustration that I knew would have filled my eyes with tears had I still been weak and human.

_You're not weak and human anymore! Stop this!_

He stared at me, his face crumpled as agony and pain and a million shades of hurt tumbled through his eyes. "If you don't fight me, you'll die!"

"Bella…" I stared at his eyes, fascinated. "I've desperately wanted to die for so long. And now, seeing you like this-" he choked on a growl, the ridges of his jaw tense and dangerous. The stone shifted beneath my palms, dry and raspy and far too warm for my memories. "Death would be too generous a punishment for me."

I stared at him, openmouthed and panting unnecessarily, waiting to hear his next statement, keeping my mind alert against the dangerous words he was weaving.

He watched me with those pathetically sad eyes. His hand came up, and I jerked against his throat. He winced, but touched his fingers to my forehead. Something traitorously human inside me begged me to listen and to believe.

_He's lying so he can hurt you!_

I bit back a whimper, but my hands loosened around his throat, and I felt him – truly felt him, beneath me, his hand on my face and his skin beneath my fingers. He was warm, almost soft to the touch now when before, he had been hard and cold. Not because he was warmer, but because I was now colder. I was stone and death and he had done this to me.

_Look what happened to you. It's because of him!_

I wanted to shut my eyes against his perfect face and kill him, rid my world of him forever and have my revenge, but the sadness in his eyes was hypnotically soothing.

"You should be punished," I whispered harshly. He closed his eyes and made a strangled choking sound that could have been a sob.

"I know." He opened his eyes. "Who did this to you?" His lips twisted into a sneer. "Victoria?"

I flinched away from his touch, releasing his throat and jumping back to stand a safe distance away from him. He got up slowly, non-threatening and very much defeated.

"That's none of your business."

He watched me carefully, then nodded in understanding.

"How long?"

I growled at him and he put up his hands to placate me. The action just made me angrier, and I picked up a large chunk of concrete roughly the size of my torso, flinging it at him as hard as I could. Shockingly, he didn't move away, and it turned to powder and dust upon impact, but I knew it had hurt him. _Good_.

"This is _my _hunting ground, Cullen. Leave it."

He looked at my eyes, and I saw the conflicted dismay slither across his face. "I'm not here to hunt humans, Bella." A shadow passed. "And it's Masen, now."

_Why? What happened?_

"If you're not here to hunt, then what do you want?"

He stared at his shoes for a moment, his hands resting on his thighs as though by a great effort. "I thought I saw you in… in that boy's mind. I couldn't be sure, so I had to see for myself. See if it was really you."

_He's curious. He doesn't care_. "Why would it matter to you? I'd have thought you would've run the other way." He flinched as though struck, and I stood straighter, empowered. "Let's be honest with one another, Edward. You couldn't have been happy to see me." _Not like this._

Burning shame spread through my body at the thought that he had seen me trapping that boy, luring him coldly away, fogging his mind into a trance. I knew if I had been turned by Edward, I would have stood beside him, golden-eyed and in perfect control, a shining example of their vegetarian lifestyle. But I hadn't been able to do it without him, and I had failed and turned into the basest of creatures.

_I couldn't help it. I tried. It doesn't work, their diet is skewed. It makes them strange._

For I knew that no other vampires were quite like the Cullens. No one else could possibly live such an unfulfilling lifestyle.

Angry at him for the shame I felt, I brushed my clothes, coldly assessing him as I cleaned them the best I could from the plaster of the walls. My hair was clotted with it, but there was little I could do about that now. He followed the movement of my hands with tortured eyes, his eyes lingering on my semi-bare stomach and collar. All but one of the shirt's buttons had popped, either during my feeding or the altercation

that followed. His eyes were hungry as they absorbed my skin, then ashamed as they focused on a neutral area.

"Something you want to say to me, Masen?"

He looked up at me, fierce guilt and desire in his darkening eyes. "You must hate me."

_I love you._

"Of course I hate you." I blasphemed, then smiled wickedly so he could see all my teeth. "Look what you made me."

He flinched at my words. _Ah. So I've hit a nerve._

"You made me a monster," I pressed, and he let out a tortured groan, running his hands manically through his hair. I took satisfaction in his pain, yet it made me want to double over in my own agony. I didn't regret the words. It was the basest of lies and the harshest of truths wrapped into one. He had struggled so hard to not let me become one of them, and yet he was the reason I was. He must hate that, the fact that I would exist for the rest of eternity in his world, and he would never be rid of me, short of destroying me. _I'd like to see him try_. I was stronger and faster. Animal

blood would leave him weaker, and his gift didn't work on me. My gift, however, I was certain would work on him.

"I never wanted to hurt you."

I threw my head back and laughed, so hard and so loud the foundations of what was left of the building shook and rattled around us. "Don't insult my intelligence, Edward. I've gotten smarter in seventy years, not dumber." I glared at him, watching his jaw clench with tension. "Why did you come after me?"

"I wanted to see you," he whispered, staring straight into my blood red eyes. "..I've.." he stopped, tearing his eyes away from me and taking an

unnecessary deep breath. He ran his hands through his perfect hair, my fingers twitched at my sides as conflicting emotions tore through me. So badly I wanted to reach out and close the distance between us, and be the one running my fingers through his hair. I wanted to to touch it, and see if it was still as soft as I remembered it being.

I shook my head, quickly dispelling those thoughts from my mind. I let out a growl, mostly directed at myself for my weak and pathetic thoughts, but he flinched again obviously thinking the growl had been directed at him. Maybe in someways it had been.

"I've been thinking... about you."

_Liar!_

He recoiled and I realized I had spoken aloud. His pathetic golden eyes stared at a spot over my shoulder. He swallowed hard, and I wondered if he was truly moved or simply scared.

"Bella, please. Tell me what happened to you." He swallowed again. He wasn't scared.

I slowly eased out of my fighting crouch, my ears picking up the distant mutterings of humans on their way to investigate the noise. If I'd had a heart it would have thundered in my chest now as I found myself facing a fork in my path. I could send him away, knowing full well that I might never see him again. I could kill him. He was agile and quick but at a distinct disadvantage without being able to read my mind and having lived on an animal diet for who knew how long. Or I could...

"Humans are coming."

He looked startled, but I only registered for a moment before I took off running. I ran at full speed, weaving my way around the remaining few buildings separating me from the wooded area surrounding the city. I was sure he couldn't keep up with me at this speed. My inner animal roared in outrage, rattling its cage to be let out and wreak havoc upon the world for this, the most fucked up of all situations. I tried to shut it out, clapping my hands over my ears as I ran, panting more than I should have been given that I was fucking dead. What was I doing? Why was I allowing him

to affect me like this?

I growled as I burst through the undergrowth into a clearing I had remembered seeing on my way into the city. I slowed towards the center, roaring at the night sky. Decades worth of frustration bubbled and overflowed through my lips as I let out the constant unending howl of my agony and confusion. Within me, I felt the weight of Edward anchoring me to my soul's most violent churning shadows where, as far as I was concerned, he and I had been for the last seventy years.

* * *

**EPOV**

As I watched her run from me without so much as a glance back, I felt defeated. She had no qualms about attacking me and was ready to kill me. Never in all my years of existence had I ever felt as much pain as I did in this moment. It was as though all the pain that I had been feeling over the last seventy years had suddenly compounded itself and was laying heavily upon me.

It took everything I had to walk away from the place where I last saw her. Of course I hadn't wanted to. But what could I do? Humans were indeed coming, and I had to either follow her or flee. And what if I did follow her and she fought me again? I couldn't throw her down and make her talk to me, tell me all of her secrets from the last seventy-years. She was obviously stronger then I was. What was more, she was so fast I didn't know that I could catch her at all. I wasn't surprised by that, human blood did make vampires stronger than animal blood did. She had been so angry. I

touched my neck where her hands had pressed me, where her teeth had been. I ran my fingertips over the ridge of the new scar of her venom, realizing fully that she really would have killed me if I hadn't fought back.

I wanted so badly to turn and follow her, to hold her in my arms and feel her skin against mine. Just the few times our skin had touched during our.. fight.. left me aching and wanting more. Although she had been aggressive, I couldn't help feeling.. turned on. I felt ashamed, to have been feeling such a way, but it had been so long since I had any sort of contact with another being that I craved touch, any kind that I could get, especially from her. Seventy-years I had lived in isolation, longing for her to touch me, to kiss me again.

For just over seven decades, I had wondered what it would be like for us to reunite, and this scenario had never once played out. Never had I ever thought it imaginable that she could be so... angry.

Despite this fact, I yearned to know what her life had been like. Where had she been? What had she seen? I longed to know her again. I just wanted her in my life again. Nothing else mattered. Suddenly, a new feeling of determination set in. I would make her mine again. Now that I had spoken to her, touched her, smelled her - I would not give her up. I realized that although she had become the very thing I had dreaded her becoming, I loved her still and I would always love her. Vampire emotions were unchanging. I could only hope that the passion Bella had once felt for me when she was human, had carried over into this new existence enough to even slightly outweigh the intense anger she had just displayed. I knew, and hoped, that a part of the old Bella was still in there. I was determined to bring it out of her again.

I wouldn't stop until I accomplished it.

Confident that Alice and Jasper would now be coming for a visit, as there was no way she would be able to ignore these visions, I made a decision of where I would go so that they would find me without issue.

For better or for worse, I was back in Bella's life. This time, for good.


End file.
